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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

If You Can't Take The Heat, Then Don't Cook Your Indonesian Transgender Prostitute In The Kitchen

10/6/2014

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Picture
http://elitedaily.com/news/world/chef-kills-cooks-gf/785470/

EliteDaily- A 28-year-old Australian chef is believed to have dismembered his girlfriend and put a piece of her in a cooking pot before taking his own life.

The Courier Mail reports that Marcus Volke and Mayang Prasetyo, who is believed to be an Indonesian transgender prostitute, recently moved into an upscale Brisbane apartment complex, but the relationship turned sour soon after.




​Come on dude. Listen, I am not murderer. But if I had to think like one for a second I would say you should probably go into it with a game plan. This had to be a premeditated attempt at killing her. You don't kill your 'girlfriend' on a whim and her body ends up cooking on the stove. Rule #1, Never half ass a murder plot. If you are going to cook your girlfriend and, I presume, eat her then you better be fully committed. 


Honestly, not a big murder guy, but having seen Criminal Minds a few times, I like where your head was at Marcus. Perfect crime, eat the body. Everyone knows that. Applying what he does best to the murder was also very savvy. He is a professional cook. Who knows how to fully cook a human body better than an actual chef? I have a hard enough time making sure my chicken isn't dry. I'm sure Marcus had no problem whipping up a medium rare thigh.

You can't stop halfway through though. This isn't like doing your laundry where you can just leave it in the dryer because folding it sucks. There is a dead body on hand, time is of the essence. You can't fry a forearm for 3 days while you decide what your next move is. Gordon Ramsey would eat you for lunch, no pun intended. You gotta broil them legs and get to eating son. Just hold your nose and get after it. It's not going to taste any better a week later. 

How about this guy just living in an apartment that smells like rotten flesh? If you aren't going to devour your transgender prostitute girlfriend then pack your bags and get out of town. The body isn't going to eat itself. 

No worse way to go out. Suicide in a dumpster. I guess once you are busted for cooking your girlfriend, and you are already hiding in a dumpster, the only logical thing to do is kill yourself. Hiding in a dumpster is the white flag of girlfriend cooking. 

Sneaky worst part of this: At what point did he realize he was going to have to eat a dick to fully ingest 'her'? Reason numero uno to not date an Indonesian transgender prostitute….or something like that…
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