Ilya Kovalchuk Is Reportedly Considering A Return To The KHL...Or Just Posturing For A Higher NHL Price Tag
How was my morning, you ask? Oh, nothing out of ordinary. Woke up. Stretched out a bit. Tucked my wood into my waistband. Looked outside. Up was up. Down was down. The sky was blue. The grass was green. Gave the old teeth a brush. Gave the old dick a shake. Gave the omelette a flip. Sat down to sip my morning coffee. Logged into Twitter. Saw that the most indecisive professional athlete on the planet was reconsidering all his options...and kept scrolling to see if literally anything in the sheltered world of social media had changed.
Seriously, if you felt any type of emotion when you read that Ilya Kovalchuk was using the leverage at his disposal to pit the NHL and KHL against each other to drive up whatever price he ultimately gets paid on whatever continent he ends up playing then I am truly envious of your ability to let the past be the past. You suckers that thought Kovy's return to North American ice was imminent are probably the same idiots that think this news break makes his Russian homecoming a foregone conclusion. I tend to applaud people that willfully have blind faith in those that have proven they don't deserve it, but the second you make an assumption about the intentions of a player who is as fickle as a bipolar pregnant woman is the second you agree to make yourself look stupid.
The truth of the matter is that I have about as good of an idea where Ilya Kovalchuk laces up the skates next season as he does. I would imagine the mercenary that fought tooth and nail for a salary cap circumventing 100 million dollar contract of which he fulfilled about 6 cents on the dollar will make that decision dependent upon which pretty, round number best strokes his ego to completion. That's why New Jersey's fleeting ownership over his rights should have never been treated as more of an asset than that one curly fry that might accidentally get tossed in with your regular fries. Maybe the Russian defect finally does the Devils a goddamn favor and nets them some of the NHL caliber talent he cost them, or maybe he goes back to the motherland, plays out the season, and opens up a wealth of options that he'll undoubtedly take far too long to choose between next summer. Whatever the case may be, I'm not even remotely shocked that it's not closed two days before he's eligible to be traded. In the words of the last man to get duped by his doubt, Ilya Kovalchuk's incessant uncertainty remains...."status quo".