I'm Disappointed By The Texas Rangers Fan That Celebrated A Walk-Off Win With An On-Air Boob Grab

HAHAHA i can't quit laughing pic.twitter.com/AcqlFC4a5b

— nick pants (@nick_pants) August 31, 2016

Look, I know just as well as you that what took place in that clip is not a boob grab so I am sorry for the false advertisement. Unfortunately I too had to suffer the same disappointment when I clicked a link thinking I was about to bear witness to a good ol' fashioned public display of exploration and instead got some kid who barely touched the bag as he strolled into second.

Honestly, what was that? I refuse to call it a "boob grab" because I would never want to insult the word "grab" like that. That kid is never going to get into scoring position if he keeps trying to steal bases without getting his hands dirty. I thought I was going to get the pleasure of watching some Texas white trash publicly feel up a woman exactly the way you would expect Texas white trash to publicly feel up a woman and he gave me a tit touch that looked more like he was checking it's temperature than testing it's durability. He could have gotten the foreplay started early and instead he decided to see if his girlfriend's breast was developing a common head cold.

This shit is sure to go viral and I wish I had the vaccination because this attention seeker couldn't even satisfy the most amateur of voyeur. This kid and his temple tickling sideburns got gifted a golden opportunity for a timeless GIF and came up shorter than he undoubtedly does in the bedroom. I'm not saying I am the type to grope a woman in front of a camera, but the second I got a look at that dude's face I knew that he was. Unfortunately he put on a performance reminiscent of a prepubescent prude that's just looking to brag to his friends instead of a an experienced baggage handler. There's no sand in it son. You're not going to pop it. Stop treating those T's like they aren't worthy of an 'A+' effort.


​h/t LBS