I'm No Jeopardy Aficionado, But If You Make Yourself A Suspect While Playing Then You're Probably Doing It Wrong

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— alfi (@ClutchLikeRomo) May 28, 2017

Welp, that's one way to go from sweating out questions under the bright lights of one of the most prestigious gameshows to sweating out questions under the brighter, much hotter lights of an interrogation room. I know our boy Tom just accidentally induced verbal vomiting in the name of timeliness. Still, it's probably not wise to imply that you have absolutely no idea how statutory rape works when you have the look of someone who hasn't not shown up to a stranger's house with a 6-pack of wine coolers, a blindfold, and a coil of roping. Poor guy isn't the first person to sound stupid while answering in the form of a question, but he very well might be the person to sound guilty while answering in the form of a question. Christ, Chris Hanson probably thought he was tuning in to take a break from putting sexual predators behind bars, and instead a goddamn amber alert made his ears shoot up as it interrupted the show that he uses for mental exercise.

Credit to Alex Trebek for not letting that thoughtless retort sit on air like stale fart, but there is nothing he could have done to completely mask the lasting stench of perceptual pedophilia. That one is going to stick with Tom for awhile, and it probably should. If only so he doesn't go around assuming there's anything common about lawlessly bedding middle schoolers under the belief that they are old enough to definitively say "yes" or "no".