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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

It Comes As No Surprise, But Dwight Howard's Attempt At Sex Humor Sucked

1/26/2017

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Picture

In other news, @DwightHoward and @DennisMike93 are 13 years old □#ourDwasgoodtonight #itstartswiththeD pic.twitter.com/xake79bo29

— Will Lanxton (@wlanxton) January 26, 2017
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HA! Get it?! 'D'...as in defense...but also as in 'dick'?! Ya know, like a penis? Am I doing a bad job explaining this? Why aren't you guys bent over at the waist and trying to find your breath after being crippled by laughter?

Look, I'm not mounting my high horse and acting like I am above even the most elementary of sex humor. You give me an opening and I won't hesitate to shove a "cock" in there to completion...of the conversation. I'm just going to need my innuendo to be a little more subtle and a less common before I go giving Dwight Howard the laughs he so desperately desires. It's not that I refuse to give credit where it's due. It's that after watching this clip I think the list of people that deserve credit includes every professional basketball player that's mentioned 'de' within the construct of a game and had the self awareness to understand that their too damn tall to be picking at the low hanging fruit. As far as I am concerned, this is just further proof that Dwight Howard is the type of guy to explain your joke to you without even realizing it. In essence, he's an insufferable try hard whose sense of humor would have you finishing your beer quicker because it looks to be about as natural as his post moves. 

And seriously, how many times was he going to go back to the well? I know this is kind of on Dennis Schroder for being a more forgiving audience than a girl on a first date that is trying to avoid awkward silence, but if I were that reporter I would have whacked him on the nose with the microphone like it were a newspaper and scolded him. I'm all for immaturity, but it's a hell of a lot more funny when it's not as ridiculously transparent as Dwight Howard's fake ass smile. 
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