Jared Blaming The Subway Diet For His Pedophilia Was A Foolproof Strategy

NY Post- “Once he lost weight, it seemed as though in a short time he had hyper-sexuality,” forensic psychiatrist John Bradford testified for the defense at Fogle’s sentencing Thursday morning in Indianapolis. “There are brain disorders that can be associated with sexual drive.”

Bradford, of the University of Ottawa, testified shortly after Fogle pleaded guilty to child-porn charges.
Fogle — who famously dropped 245 pounds on a diet of turkey and veggie subs — will be sentenced later Thursday.

The psychiatrist said Fogle had “mild or infrequent fantasies about pre-pubertal children,” but the psychiatrist said his diagnosis is “mild pedophilia,” the Indianapolis Star reported.

Asked about Fogle’s sex with 16- and 17-year-old minors, Bradford said, “16- or 17-year-olds are not pre-pubertal children,” the paper reported. “He didn’t have those types of cognitive distortions that you would see in those individuals.”

Bradford said Fogle had fantasies of young girls, age 12 or 13, but his main interest was older minors.
“Looking at all of this, I believe he did suffer from pedophilia, except it didn’t involve acting out with a child. He denies he ever touched a child.”



​Riddle me this readers, what came first, the chicken or the egg? Forget the fact that chicken was precooked, bland, and tasteless. Forget the fact that the egg probably traumatized the lives of a bunch of teenage girls. Just answer the question, what came first? You can't, and that is the exact reason why "Subway sandwiches made me molest underage children" is the perfect defense for Jared Fogle. Don't get me wrong, it's not going to work. He's still going to prison for the foreseeable future. However, if you are going to jail anyway, you might as well give the public something to think about as you do. Now, I know that I, personally, would never lay a hand on a child in a sexual manner, but I also know that I wouldn't eat Subway every single meal for years and years on end. 

You ever have a really bad meal and have it ruin your entire day? Imagine if you had to do that 3 times a day, 365 times a year, for how ever many years Jared was losing weight. It would ruin your entire life. It would cause you to act irrationally. You certainly wouldn't be the same person you were before doing so. At the very least you would develop a drinking problem just to be able to force yourself to stuff that below average crap down your throat every few hours. I am not saying it would make you fondle kids, but I am not saying it wouldn't either. Let's just take a look at the numbers...

People that have eaten Subway for every meal and became pedophiles- 1
People that have eaten Subway for every meal and not became pedophiles- 0

The proof is in the pudding, and I am not talking about the stuff that Jared used to lure in his prey.  Statistically speaking, Jared's defense is completely bulletproof. It's a shutout bitches! Enough shitty lunch meat, stale bread, and compromised vegetables and there is an infinite percent chance you end up becoming a pedophile. You do a juice cleanse for long enough and you became an irritable asshole, and if you do 'The Subway Diet' for long enough you're just one sandwich away from sexual misconduct. Men lie, pedophiles lie, numbers don't.