Jaromir Jagr Backed That Thang Up Into 2nd Place On The NHL's All Time Scoring List
So, so appropriate. I suppose there are more asthetically pleasing ways for Jaromir Jagr to achieve a ridiculously momentous milestone, butt there certainly isn't a more symbolic way. We are talking about a guy that was likely Kim Kardashian's inspiration to use her backside as the "foundation" for her career. A man that never failed in using his tailfeather to shake himself out of tough working conditions. An ageless athlete whose apple bottom genes - and about 80,000 weighted squats per week - made peers that were twice as fast and half as old look like a scrawny white boy grinding on a thick black girl that's 4x his circumference. That record setting (let's be honest, Gretzky is in a class of his own) ass-ist wasn't the most awe inspiring set-up we've ever seen from Jags, but it made perfect use of a dumper that's as timeless as J-Lo's.
So the puck hit nothing but ass, whatever. You know what else hit nothing but ass? Literally every over-confident defender that has dared to go into the corner thinking they were going to strip a 40+ year old with a bootylicious center of gravity and a string that somehow never leaves the puck. It's about time his rear end got the shine it deserves, because it's made the latter half of his career just as impressive (though not as productive) as the first half of his career. Even the most breastified of tit men have to be left slack jawed by the way Jaromir Jagr has used his badonkadunk to mend generations and twerk back the clock to zoom-a-zoom-zoom-and-a-boom-boom all the way to the top of NHL record books. There's legit not enough words to accurately describe his work ethic and what he's been able to achieve with it, but when it comes to his rump it's quite simply...
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