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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Johnny Manziel Just Disrespected Our Collective Intelligence By Saying He's Going Sober July 1st

6/29/2016

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YardBarker-  Johnny Manziel currently is on vacation in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, and an image posted by an individual sharing the lavish mansion where he’s staying has prompted him to proclaim he’s planning to go sober in the coming days.

The below image, posted by a woman supposedly staying with Manziel — along with approximately 20 other people, some of whom are strangers to Manziel, per a TMZ report — showcases numerous bags that appear to contain some kind of drug (via Snapchat/TMZ).

“They’re absolutely not mine,” Manziel told TMZ Sports. “I don’t even know that girl.”

In his comments to TMZ, Manziel also stated he’s not drinking or using any illicit drugs during his vacation in Mexico and that he’s planning to go completely sober on July 1. Not only that, Manziel also stated he intends to start training hard and eating healthy.



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July 1st? July fucking 1st Johnny? The day before 4th of July weekend? A weekend in which it's literally considered un-American to be sober? Come on man. I personally don't give a shit whether or not Johnny Manziel ever chooses to give sobriety a chance. I find this deep dark path he's going down to be rather intriguing. If he's not going to be worth of a shit on a football field - never mind on this planet - then he might as well test the limits of that liver of his and provide us with some quality entertainment. His lawyer intentionally tanking cases. His family giving up on him. If you ignore the fact that a human being is on the fast track to an early grave then this whole sequence has been rather fascinating. 

That said, I don't like being lied to, and the most notorious substance abuser of the last year claiming he's going cold turkey 24 hours before the rest of the world goes on a 3 day bender is a falsehood so egregious that it makes Greg Hardy look like a truth sayer. Johnny Manziel is in Cabo with 20 strangers and enough blow to keep a narcoleptic awake until New Years. He couldn't stay drug free if he wanted to. It's not even his choice. You put a Mormon church group cliffside in a tropical paradise and they are finding a way to get fucked up on 4th of July weekend. He could turn down drugs and alcohol 25 times straight and he'd still be in an alternative universe by Friday afternoon, because celebrating our country's independence as a nation and celebrating it's codependence on booze are one and the same.  
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