Josh Norman Is A Competitor, And He Won't Change His "Beastiality" For No One

Josh Norman, despite all the penalties, won't change his "beastiality" on the field. #Redskins return. https://t.co/cYy5WK1KD1 pic.twitter.com/EQMjyJah3i

— Ben Standig (@BenStandig) November 7, 2016

Hey, they say stick to what made you successful. Josh Norman was a 5th round pick that - somewhat incredibly - developed into a slick talking shutdown corner. If forcefully fucking farm animals is what gave him the confidence to overcome the odds and become one of the highest paid defensive backs in the entire league then he certainly shouldn't stop penetrating them just because some uppity zebras have a problem with it. As a wise man in an absurdly unrealistic movie once said, "never lose your dinosaur". That quote should hit especially close to home for a player whose "dinosaur" bears a striking resemblance to a sheep and is it's...uhhh...shepherd's primary outlet for tension release. I know it's frowned upon to be sexually assaulting species that are incapable of consent, but if you're going to do it then you might as well do it as a member of a team whose name was used without the consent of the nationality that it blatantly mocks. Despite what PETA may think, Josh Norman sodomizing stray cattle still isn't as egregious as a professional organization refusing to change the racial slur it identifies itself by. So say whatever you want about the guy but don't say he's not an aggressive competitor until you successfully take a stallion from behind and live to tell the tale.

The bad news here? Josh Norman looks like a complete dumbass for using "beastiality" in a comically incorrect context. The good news? He's clearly never partaken in it before. No one who is even slightly familiar with what that word means has accidentally let it slip with a smile on their face,   so at least we know Josh Norman doesn't need to be given a restraining order from every petting zoo within 100 miles of the Washington D.C. area. That's at least a small victory for a professional athlete who prides himself on his ability to talk but can't describe his style of play without incidentally admitting  to premarital relations with livestock.