Kawhi Leonard Had To Take A Drug Test Immediately After His Otherworldly Performance Against The Rockets
Yeah, I know. Odds are strongly in favor of this piss test lying in wait well before Kawhi Leonard showcased the type of awe-inspiring athleticism that you'd expect from someone that tops off their protein shakes with a splash of spider monkey blood. That being said, if a long tenured NBA player finds the timing suspicious than I don't see why I can't take out my monocle and do some investigative conspiracy theorizing....
In all seriousness, it doesn't really matter whether or not the NBA already had their heart set on getting a closer look at Kawhi's urine. Even the most humble of player - and Leonard is exactly that - would take it as a compliment if someone walked into the locker room and said "here, prove you're not cheating" after they have put up video game-esque numbers. Obviously the league doesn't demand a sample every single time someone's performance seems oddly superhuman or Russell Westbrook's pee would never go straight into a toilet. That doesn't mean that you don't walk with your chest puffed out a little further when you're asked to confirm just how superior your genetics are immediately following a 39 point effort where you only took 18 shots and sealed the victory with a block that looked to require the recovery speed of a cheetah owned by Jose Canseco. It's a good thing the player in question is more likely to use steroids than be effected by praise, or the ego-boost that the NBA equivalent of the bionic man would receive from having his natural capabilities questioned after he put them to their most impressive use would have him looking, feeling, and acting transcendentally cocky - in both the literal and figurative sense.