Kirk Cousins Revealed The Gender Of His Future Child With An Uncatchable Pass

#Redskins QB @KirkCousins8 & wife Julie announce the gender of their baby!

It's a □: https://t.co/dAPmrHW2zY pic.twitter.com/F5zkt8mY2f

— Washington Redskins (@Redskins) March 24, 2017

Full disclosure? I have never watched an online gender reveal that wasn't super awkward so Kirk Cousins dorky ass was already in a no-win situation here. That said, his inevitable loss was in even more spectacular fashion than I expected. How are you going to damn near miss the target from ten feet away as an NFL quarterback? No wonder why all his wide receivers skipped town. They couldn't even depend on their quarterback to throw an accurate pass when something as important using his unborn child for online approval was at stake!

I guess now we now why the Washington Redskins just franchise tagged him for the 14th year in a row. Poor bastard throws like a girl (no offense) when telling the world he's introducing a boy into the family. Two feet shorter on that slant pattern and they would be using this Instagram as an instructional video at the 'Donovan McNabb School Of Just-A-Bit-Outside'. I think I saw his wife's stomach move a little at the end, and I have no choice but to assume that fetus cringed rather than kicked. If that's the accuracy that Kirk Cousins is bringing to the table next season then he might as well buy low and purchase his child a Colt McCoy jersey now.