The preamble:
The masterstroke:
I'm generally a fiend for landscape-altering Woj bombs, so trust me when I say the following. Never, and I mean not a once, have I needed a competitive team in an otherwise uncompetitive conference to stand pat during the deadline. That's looking less and less likely, and by the time you read this my dream may already have been shattered, but I simply can't get enough of the Cleveland Cavaliers as currently constructed....
I'm not sure such a high level of defenseless dysfunction is sustainable without a one-team bench brawl breaking out prior to the playoffs, but I'll be damned if I'm not made giddy by the prospect of finding out if it means getting to see this pubescent passive aggression take place on a bigger stage. A move is probably inevitable, but - much like leaving the class clown alone in the chemistry lab - this failed social experiment is going to produce the most combustibly entertaining results if left to its own devices. We legitimately just watched a grown man take the silent treatment a step further by completely refusing to acknowledge his own teammate's existence in front of tens of thousands of people in attendance and the millions watching at home. LeBron probably doesn't even know that white dude's name and he actively sought a chest bump with him because the only other alternative was making eye contact with someone he'd recently deemed invisible. That may have been the first time that he has ever fought through a foul without so much as sending a glance the way of the person who committed it, and in this instance that person was his own teammate desperately trying to clutch and grab his way into a celebration while being treated like the ugly fucking duckling. Seeing as we should all probably want to see one of the greatest players of all time partake in a watchable brand of basketball, what we've been offered is a sports fan's guilty pleasure. Seriously, we might as well roll the windows down and start belting out Taylor Swift songs at the top of our lungs, because it doesn't get any more shameless than encouraging this type of bad blood. It's a real time movie that's so, so bad that you simply can't turn it off. If last night was the final scene then it was a fitting one. LeBron James knocked down a Christian Laettner-esque turnaround buzzer beater and his first instinct was to straight up disrespect Isaiah Thomas as both a player and a person. For the Cavaliers, even a triumphant winning effort has turned into nothing more than an ostracization opportunity, so it might not get any more volatile than that. However, if they want to run this same roster back post-deadline I will gladly sit through that counterproductive sequel. Somehow, it would be even more endlessly intriguing than watching LeBron do what LeBron does when he's not being a mean girl which is quite obviously the incredible...
P.S. And also...whut?
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