Let's Not Ignore The Elephant In The Room When Talking About Michael Irvin Getting Naked In Front Of Rookies
BSO- “We get into mini-camps, and the mini-camps back then, when you get drafted, there’s the first camp that you have seven days after the draft — you have what we call mini-camps — and it was just the rookies. No veterans around, just the rookies. so we’re at rookie mini-camp and we’re in a meeting room, and Dave Campo — God bless him, as crazy as he was — but Dave Campo was our defensive backs coach at the time. And he’s putting in — we’re in the film room — and he’s installing the defense, so we’re watching film. It’s a dark room, much like this room; it’s a dark room, doors behind us and we’re watching film.”
“All of a sudden, the doors just get slammed, ‘Boom!’ You hear this noise, door opens up … 12 guys in this room, all rookies, turn around. There’s a guy at the door — happened to be Michael Irvin. [I’d] never met Michael Irvin; [it was my] first time ever meeting Michael Irvin. [He] comes through the door; he’s butt naked — not a towel on, no socks; no jockstrap — just butt naked. [He] walks in and says, ‘You young fellas, all you 4.2s and 4.3s that Jimmy drafted,’ he says, ‘I’m going to absolutely kill you when we come in for veteran mini-camp, so I just wanted to let you know, you better bring your lun-,’ and you know Mike, Mike had that big, booming voice. ‘You better-!’ ‘I’ma let you-!’ ‘Let me tell you something!’ That’s how he used to talk. ‘Let me tell you something: I’m gonna kill every last one of ya in one-on-ones!’ [He] walks right back out the door, and we’re sitting there — I’m telling you, when he was going off, I knew he was butt naked; I’m looking at him like, ‘This dude has no clothes on,’ and he’s talking [and] he made, like, eye contact … It’s funny now because Mike and I are really close, and I just saw him not too long ago at the Pro Bowl, and he still remembers the story.”
Hey, you hear about Michael Irvin? The guy's got a fucking horse cock. No seriously, that's the only thing I took away from this long winded story about Michael Irvin being a crazy person. I already knew the guy was an excellent shit talker. I already knew he was a cocky (no pun intended) son of a bitch. What I didn't know is that he's got a dick that basically drags on the floor if he doesn't wrap it around his leg once or twice. Think about this whole scenario for a second. Do you think Michael Irvin, of all people, needed to be naked when walking into a room full of rookie defense backs to get their full attention? Hell no. He was one of the best wide receivers in the league. He had the floor the second he burst through those doors and raised his voice. That's why his decision to do so naked is so telling.
What do they tell every person that's ever been nervous to get up before public speaking? To try to imagine the entire crowd naked, because it makes them seem less threatening. The fact that Michael Irvin felt he was MORE threatening with no clothes on speaks volumes. Naked All-World wide receiver with average (relatively speaking) sized penis? Vulnerable. Naked All-World wide receiver with a third leg that would put shame to the biggest of baby arms? Intimidating. I don't want to make any guesses on length, but I shutter to think how veiny and triumphant Michael Irvin's manhood has to be to make a room full of NFL players feel self conscious about their own girth. Just exerting his dominance over a room full of elephants with his trunk size. Straight up bullying some of the best athletes in the world with his flaccid penis. Sigh...#BlackPeopleProblems.