LSU Quarterback Danny Etling Described The Perfect Butt...To Take Snaps From

.@TBob53 with the hard hitting journalism today from #LSU

"Lloyd Cushenberry or Will Clapp: Whose (butt) feels better?" pic.twitter.com/y0Fc8JQDZx

— Mike Gegenheimer (@Mike_Gegs) August 8, 2017

And there you have it, even the whitest of white boys prefers a little cushion for pushin'...the ball downfield. All due respect to the oh-so-rare, pancake-assed offensive lineman, but baby - you simply ain't got enough back for Danny Etling to prefer getting up under it all season.

Admittedly, it's a littttttle awkward for reporter to be ask a college football player which teammate's taint he'd rather come uncomfortably close to touching on a regular basis. However, I can't say I'm surprised he chose the type of ass that provides more warmth, comfort, and durability like the one that's almost fatefully attached to a center with the last name 'Cushenberry'. I mean, if I absolutely had to make contact with the sweaty undercarriage of a man twice my size then I'm taking the booty that provides me a larger margin for error every single time. To each their own of course, but I'd definitely look at Danny Etling as a bit too prudish to be starting at quarterback in the SEC if he was a bigger fan of getting repeatedly poked by a pelvic bone.