Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is Martellus Bennett implying that are better ways for the NFL to spend their time and endless capital than by casting and producing an instructional video intent on showing grown ass men how to appropriately display their happiness? Is that what's happening here? Is he trying to lead me to believe that infantilizing a 'Key And Peele' sketch into something that resembles an outdated D.A.R.E. video shouldn't be the first priority of a league whose image problem is far from limited to end zone dances? Did he just mock the inherent educational value in showing professional athletes a distinct set of allowable celebrations? I don't want to put words in his tweets, but it reads to me like Martellus Bennett finds the NFL's dedication to turning their players into robotic, Madden-ized versions of themselves to be condescending. It's as if he doesn't think that the ranging personalities of his peers can be fully encapsulated in a patronizing video that will undoubtedly be more unintentionally funny then the VHS that was used to teach them how to wrap their birds when dealing with these B's.
Looks like someone doesn't realize that this has nothing to do with out-of-touch white executives trying to appease the older, excessively conservative demographic of their viewership. It's almost like one particularly outspoken tight end forgot that there are young, impressionable children watching, and that their lives could forever be effected by seeing their favorite wide receiver hump air or their role model of a running back destroy their innocence by turning a football into prop faster than Carrot Top. So I ask you, Martellus Bennett, what about the kids....WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?!?!?!
P.S. Is it crazy to think that Troy Vincent has been tantalized into the sunken place by his tenure in the NFL front office? There's no way this dude had such a stick up his ass during his playing days. Either money talked, or Roger Goodell started clanking his tea cup and slipped him under his trance. Not saying the former Eagles' cornerback needs to 'Get Out', but someone might want to turn the flash on when they take a selfie with him during the filming of this tutorial on how to entertain appropriately. Ya know, just in case.