Now Introducing The Whitest Drunk Boat Fight In The History Of Drunk Boat Fights
And there you have it. The inherent problem with groups of white friends. They inevitably include one person that has easy access to a watercraft and they inevitably include one person that can't drink 8-10 beers and take a joke without swinging on someone. Taking a relaxing trip out to sea to bask in the sun while downing an innumerable amount of cold ones almost always sounds like a good plan. However, the idea of doing so usually takes precedence over the fact that seclusion and belligerence are a volatile combination.
You just know every single person on that boat considered this a likely ending to a lovely afternoon, but they intentionally suppressed that thought in their mind so as to enjoy a summer weekend with friends. You see that fat kid in the turquoise bathing suit? That's the waddle of a man whose wasted far too many nights breaking up far too many scuffles between these same two idiots over the years. I know he just got done battling gravity, but that attempt to interfere was so begrudged that it made Daria look like a gym class hero. Truth be told, I don't even blame him. That was the most fruitless cat fight between white people on a boat since a couple Becky's brought the claws out in an effort to be the first mouth on Kyrie Irving's penis during his post-championship yacht party. Until the antenna got swung that altercation was far too funny to take seriously. Either way, this was a pretty predictable conclusion to a bunch of young caucasians binge drinking in a remote location. Far more predictable than the fact that this group of losers was able to convince three young women - no matter what they look like - to willingly join them...
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