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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Oddly Enough, Jared Fogle Is Now The Sandwich Guy In The Prison Cafeteria

3/24/2016

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DailyMail- Jared Fogle, 38, has been tasked with the ironic job of handing out sandwiches to other inmates inside the Englewood Correctional Facility, Colorado.

He made his millions and became a household name as the face of a sandwich chain - and now it seems pedophile Jared Fogle has returned to his roots behind bars.

The former Subway pitchman, who is serving 15 years at the Englewood Federal Corrections Institute in Colorado, has been tasked with serving sandwiches to other inmates, TMZ reports.

Fogle, who was convicted last year of paying underage girls for sex and producing child porn, was assigned to cafeteria duty and put on sandwich duty as an ironic twist, it is reported. 

However, according to TMZ, Fogle had to be moved to the staff canteen after threats from fellow inmates who view cafeteria work as a 'cushy' job.

The threats came after Steve Nigg, who is serving 15 years for gun charges, punched Fogle several times in January, leaving him with a bloody nose, scratched neck and a swollen face.
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Nigg was reportedly angry that he was serving the same sentence as Fogle, who received 15 years and eight months for trading child pornography and having sex with underage prostitutes.

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Get your laughs. No seriously, get all your laughs. Jared Fogle deserves every last one of them. There is something inherently hilarious about a guy that made $15 million peddling shitty franchised lunchmeat being sentenced to 15 years in prison pushing shitty prison sandwiches for free. Some might even call it karma. That being said, while this is sure to make Jared Fogle the butt of every joke behind bars, it may also be the only thing that keeps him alive. If I know anything about Jared Fogle it's that good things only happen to him when he is serving sandwiches. It didn't make sense when he was just a big fat loser that loved Subway way too much and was gifted a shot at being their spokesperson for decades because of it. That was weird and creepy, but people seemed to like him just the same. Maybe the same line of thinking works for a kiddie toucher roaming the prison halls. Sure, that's weird and creepy (and despicable) too, but people can overlook a lot when they are being fed. I imagine that goes ten-fold for convicts. Do I think that Jared Fogle is going to get a pass for pedophilia because he serves food? No, not really, but it wouldn't be the first time I was wrong about how successful he would be handing out compromised ingredients between stale bread. Shit just falls into place when Jared Fogle has a sandwich in his hand. With the way he's been putting on weight and getting his ass whooped by 60 year old dudes, he reallllly needs things to start falling into place if he hopes to survive a decade and a half in lockup as a child molester.
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