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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Of Course This Gay Couple That Got Engaged At The Bulls Game Managed To Pull It Off

12/9/2016

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You know how black people are able to pull off all sorts of eccentric outfits that would - and occasionally do - make white people look like total assholes? Well, it appears we can apply that same concept to gay people and orchestrated proposals at sporting events. Seriously, that whole scene was absolutely adorable, but if you replaced one of those penises with a vagina then everything about it would have been completely insufferable. I know the straight white crowd doesn't take too many L's, but I am chalking this up as one of them. Sorry, but Bulls fans would be closer to throwing tomatoes than letting out a collective, audible "awwww" if a woman had been escorted out to half court just to get presented a goddamn 'Ring Pop' by her cheap ass boyfriend while some hip-hop remix of a 1940's classic was getting twerked to by a group of half dressed dancers. I know there are some heteros out there thinking the now-loveless marriage they agreed to eventually enter into on the JumboTron was an exception to the rule as well, but as a non-biased viewer I can assure you it was not. Homosexuals got the 'extravagant gestures that turn love into a public spectacle' game on lock, and I swear I don't mean that as an insult. Congrats to Michael and Jake, but Scottie Pippen ain't getting out of his damn seat for no Michelle and Jake...
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