Old Man Kicked Out Of Nursing Home After They Found A Prostitute Under His Bed

Daily Mail- Authorities say a man living in a suburban Philadelphia assisted-living facility has lost his housing subsidy after officials found a prostitute underneath his bed.

Uri Monson tells The Intelligencer in Doylestown the man, believed to be in his 70s, paid prostitutes using profits earned from peddling alcohol to fellow residents.

Monson says the man was a 'more mobile gentleman' who went on booze runs for his neighbors.

The incident was reported Thursday after county commissioners authorized contract extensions with private facilities housing former residents of the closed county-owned assisted living facility.

The county paid more than $1 million to subsidize assisted living care for 21 seniors last year.

Have I been naive to the actual purpose of nursing homes my entire life? Forgive me if I am wrong, but I thought that the entire purpose was to maintain the health and happiness of the elderly. I thought they were basically supposed to be a Club Med for the half dead. In fact, I will go as far as saying that the only person that was wronged here was this old guy. Nursing homes are responsible for catering to the wants and needs of the people that inhabit them. Don't want Old Man River hustling his roommates in exchange for booze then provide liquor. Don't want him scouring the back pages of the newspaper for some top shelf 'company' then arrange it yourself.  What's the alternative, he sleeps with a bunch of old bitches? Get with the program. Men age better than women, that's just a fact. If a man can't maintain some standards at his final resting place then where can he maintain them. 

If you aren't living, you're dying. A man that can't sleep with women that are better looking than him better have some access to alcohol or you're basically pulling the plug yourself. Stu and his old balls live for his 15 minutes a week battling erectile dysfunction with 'Candy' from around the way. Take off the shackles. Why else do you think an able bodied senior citizen is in assisted living? All his family members are tired of waking up to a prostitute making pancakes while the kids get ready for school. I'm sitting here thinking that nursing homes are basically like a warmup for heaven when in reality it's closer to a police state run by Ben Stiller's character in 'Happy Gilmore'. Getting old really does suck.