Penguins Fans Took To Eating Raw Catfish In The Streets Thus Proving They Are Just As Insecure As Their Team Is Good
I can't believe I thought that Pittsburgh Penguins fans couldn't get more nauseating than desperately trying to downplay the legitimacy of the hockey scene in Nashville during the Stanley Cup Final. I really and truly underestimated their ability to bring the taste of vomit directly to my mouth by doing things that clearly signify their own insecurities. Seriously, can you imagine watching your team win back-to-back championships and feeling so compelled to prove your worthy of celebrating them that you take a bite out of a full-size raw fish like a goddamn psychopath?
I know that every fanbase has a few lunatics and degenerates, but the wealth of stupidity that has emanated from the Steel City since they felt triggered by the decibel level of a non-traditional market is almost as staggering as the visual of drunken jackasses eating uncooked sea creatures. These dudes that woke up this morning in a puddle of their own puke smelling like a seaport really thought they proved something by potentially poisoning themselves with something much less rewarding than alcohol during their city-wide celebration. They really thought that ingesting chunks out of fish carcusses was some show of superiority over Predators fans that simply strap them to the surface of their back for immediate removal.
Well, congrats Penguins fans. I guess you guys win. You're not louder or more engaged than Smashville's finest, but you're willing to sacrifice your health to eat their local delicacy straight off the ice so I guess - in your world - that makes you worthy of the praise we've been giving to the inhabitants of a building that could be heard clearly through the television. Even if the attendance records do show otherwise.