We have the answer, and trust me when I tell you that is most certainly not a reference to Allen Iverson's classic line of kicks. Instead, it's a nod to the enlightening realization that Kawhi Leonard's individuality is officially about as exciting as...the MLA Format. I've been looking for an accurate comparison for the lack of charisma exuded by a superstar so boring that he makes the media appearances of hockey players seem like standup routines. Then, all the sudden, there it appeared...perfectly punctuated in Times New Roman across the back of a basketball shoe produced by a painfully caucasian company in a way that was almost too fitting to not be photoshopped. Kawhi Leonard has the personality of proper grammar. His personal style is set to default. His lack of creativity is so unprecedented in the NBA sneaker game that, in an ass-backwards way, it might actually be creative despite its uninteresting intentions. I honestly can't tell if the back of that shoe is more characterlessly characteristic of New Balance or Kawhi Leonard, and for that reason I offer him my deepest apologies in questioning whether his decision to jump ship from Jumpman was the right one. He's being branded right where he's supposed to be branded, which will presumably be in the back of every elderly, suburban English teacher's closet.
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