RG3 Is Dedicating Full Verses Of Love Songs To His New Girlfriend On Instagram

Girl you must be an angel. Baby you ain't gotta lie. I can see your halo, looking like you fell from the sky. Girl I got a future planned out for you and I. Where you wanna go? Girl lets take a ride. I see the sun glow when I look into your eyes. Baby girl I ain't nothing like them other guys. I can show you real love. You never had a real love. I'm the type of guy you can vibe with, we can fly high no pilot. Girl you got me all up in my feelings, got your boy tripping. Must be the way them heels fitting in that denim, girl you official. Baby don't be shy no. I wanna hear you tell me I'm yours. Because loving you is not a real issue baby. I just wanna rock with you baby. Girl this is perfect timing. Baby come here let me turn you into a new lifestyle. Wanna take the time out just to show you how I feel. I got so much love to give to you. Girl you know this love is meant for us. You know that I would never give up on us baby. We posting pictures on the gram we in LA. I get butterflies every time I see your face. You just like the sun girl you brighten my day. -Perfect Timing by Fortune-

A photo posted by Robert Griffin III (@rgiii) on Sep 3, 2016 at 9:24pm PDT

Honestly, I don't know why RG3 didn't say something before. Do you have know how much scrutiny he would have saved himself from if he had let everyone in on the secret that he's actually just a teenage boy? The internet might tell you he's 26 years old, but this Instagram post was not formulated by someone with the mental capacity of a person that can drink legally. He may have been on this Earth for a quarter century, but his brain's only been maturing for about 15 of those years.

No wonder he can't read a defense. He belongs on a high school football field winning games by 70 points with sheer athleticism. No wonder he couldn't keep a marriage together. He belongs in a classroom passing love notes to the girl he dumps and gets back together with on a bi-weekly basis. No wonder he appears to only experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. You've never met a teenager that knows of a middle ground between "the sky is falling" and "this is the greatest thing that will ever happen to me". It's all too clear that RG3 is no more intellectually advanced than the kid that's convinced he found his soulmate in the girl that laughs at his fart jokes in the cafeteria. Whatever Robin Williams character in 'Jack' had that made his body grow 4x as quickly as his brain apparently has a sister disease that is making RG3's brain grow at 1/2 the rate of his body. There's no other explanation. Make a list of all the 26 year old males you know, sit down and read the caption on that picture, and then try to tell me with a straight face that you can see ANY of them publicizing their puppy love in such a prepubescent way. If you can then you need to stop associating  with virgins.