Roger Goodell Finally Spoke About The Pass Interference That Wasn't, If You'd Like To Waste A Few Minutes Listening To Him Talk Out Of His Ass

"We understand the frustration of the fans...whenever officiating is a part of any kind of discussion postgame, it's never a good outcome for us."

-NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell on the non-PI call in the NFC Championship Game.https://t.co/CgWg6YikAe pic.twitter.com/iVx8a21fAu

— CBS Sports HQ (@CBSSportsHQ) January 30, 2019

As a bigger man than the one paid 40 million dollars a year to oversee a league that is  completely confounding in how profitable it is despite its best efforts to self-sabotage, it's time for me to come clean. While I was ranting and raving about Roger Goodell hiding under a rock like the robotic rodent that he is, I was fully aware that whatever empty ass answer he eventually offered was going to be unsatisfactory at best and absolutely infuriating at worst. Due entirely to low expectations, I'd say he managed to land somewhere in the middle, but the point is that - unlike the idiotic analysts that chastised Sean Payton's late-game play-calling - I'm able to admit that my criticism was convenient. Be it silence or stupidity, I was going to crucify the Commissioner for being either too intellectually incompetent or too professionally castrated to adequately respond to the NFL's integrity being completely compromised. I know, I know. How dare I?

On to the idiocy, which started with a compelling proclamation that the players had, indeed, spoken with Roger Goodell. The Saints' most angsty and boisterous bullshit detector determined... 

He ain’t talk to us

— Michael Thomas (@Cantguardmike) January 30, 2019

...that was...::act surprised now::...a lie!

I'd say that it could be a simple miscommunication, but that would be a very weird way to refer to an amount of communication that would make a full-on ghosting seem graceful by comparison. I was going to suggest that Michael Thomas' memory might be off, but then I remembered that he actually wasn't the defenseless receiver who had his brain rattled by an attempted beheading while the ball had yet to cross county lines. Oh well, on to the other highlights! 

Those include the type of laugh that lingers with its unfortunate audience well into a sleepless night. A reminder that bad officiating is, in fact, bad. A heads-up that being human actually absolves you of being some combination of an idiot and a coward. An admittance that the NFL has the technology, but they won't use it for "judgement calls", regardless of whether or not said "judgement calls" only require the level judgement used in determining whether or not you should put on pants before going out in public. I suppose there were a bunch of other hollow words and half-assed deflections that indirectly implied nothing is going to change, but - as a whole - it was about as forward-facing as Ace Ventura talking out of his ass-crack.

In retrospect, you might say that makes his prolonged silence prior seem golden, but was retrospect really required in concluding that Roger Goodell wasn't going to make things any better by opening his mouth?