Well, he's not wrong. I focused as intently on his postgame response as Russell Westbrook did while he aggressively Jedi Mind Tricked an overzealous kid right back into his seat with a soul-piercing stare, and I certainly couldn't spot the lie. Given the circumstances, which include being in the front row and a member of the opposing crowd, there was about a 95% chance of that touch coming from an intoxicated adult and being inspired by animosity as opposed to awe. Surely that educated guess of a statistic, as well as Russell Westbrook's relentlessly intimidating demeanor on the court, led to him turning around with the only bright in his eyes being the fire of a 1,000 suns. As far as the parent-teacher conference that ensued, I can't help but think that was long overdue. Usually I'd just chalk that uncomfortable situation up to the society's overarching inability to take children anywhere (much less within arm's reach of professional athletes), but Mike Malone's long-term job security should feel threatened by how casual that kid's command of the sideline was. We're basically talking about the sizzling stovetop of NBA players, and that little dude confidently put his hand directly to the flame like any lesson he stood to be taught was his first one. As is just about always the case, Russell Westbrook could have been more relaxed in his initial reaction, but that would have been a huge disservice to a fellow Father who looked far too at peace playing the part of irresponsible Uncle.
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