Russell Wilson Has Some Explaining To Do Because Ciara Sure Looks Preggers

Ciara pregnant? pic.twitter.com/ahEHIlf3mj

— Knowledge Gawd (@ProfessorCorria) October 19, 2015

Immaculate conception! I got to say, I thought this whole "closer to God, WWJD" lifestyle was complete bullshit, but you can't argue with that belly. Russell Wilson doesn't even need to fuck Ciara, he just had a little talk with God, his BFF, and God miraculously placed his seed inside her stomach. Doesn't get much more Catholic than helping to raise the new baby Jesus. Where is the nearest confessional booth? I have got a lot of sins to absolve after spending the last year saying that Russell Wilson was a complete fraud. Got to get back in his good graces if he's going to be in the same immediate family as our savior's replacement. Jesus, the born again virgin Ciara, and Russell Wilson as Joseph. Jesus is finally going to be black! Time to trade in your nativity scenes. Who needs wisemen bringing frankincense and myrrh? Tell the 'Legion of Boom' to bring cash and jewelry, this is 2015 for Christ's sake, get that old testament nonsense out of here. Everyone still wondering what's wrong with the Seattle Seahawks? Guys, their quarterback has a biblical bun in the oven. He's a little preoccupied. Playing winning football comes second to making sure the future of Catholicism is in good hands. 

“Of course not. You know it’s so funny, I might have had a cheeseburger a little too close to showtime. What’s funny is that I’ve learned after pregnancy your body changes differently. Listen I can have a salad and it’ll be like ‘aww junk!’ It [my stomach] was not that big, they exaggerated that. […] There are other photos from that night where you see how it really was. I’m not carrying anything in my belly but good food.”

​What's that you say, Ciara just had a double cheeseburger before her performance? Psh, she just went from the Mother of God to a disrespectful public performer. Talk about fall from grace. No one is paying hard earned money to see Ciara with a food baby. Either get pregnant or show up looking unpregnant, you can't have it both ways. Probably broke Russell Wilson's little heart when he found out the little blessing in his girlfriend's stomach was compliments of a cheat meal. Now there's no one to blame for his terrible start to the season other than himself and his offensive line. Poor Russell, now the only baby he is responsible for keeping happy is Jimmy Graham...

h/t BSO