Bing? BING!?! With all the reasons there are to hate Russell Wilson, his endorsement of Microsoft products might just be the nail in the coffin of my fleeting respect for him. I can't even believe I stood up for this guy when he painted some clearly recycled picture of his girlfriend's beauty. I am not one for the lovey-dovey bullshit, but at least when I thought he was using Google I could understand someone using the world's most popular website to quickly compose something he wouldn't have had the ability to otherwise. Bing, on the other hand? That's a level of unconventionality I simple cannot endorse.
The worst part is that we should have seen this coming. This is what Russell Wilson does. He's a contrarian cocksucker. He's an nonconformist nerd. The entire world is getting more and more perverted? He decides to reclaim his virginity despite dating an absolute bombshell. Religion is slowly but surely becoming antiquated? He praises the Lord every time he takes a successful breathe. The whole world uses Google on their iPhones? Russell Wilson is furiously looking for answers on the Bing app of his Microsoft tablet. People say chivalry is dead...
...and Russell Wilson is trying to reclaim romance one obnoxiously contrived expression of adulation at a time. It's pretty weird that he and God are besties when he's basically the Devil's full time advocate. Here's an idea Russ. While I am trying to force the taste of puke back down my throat, how about you stop trying so hard to remain outside the box, and actually get inside the one that's desperately awaiting your penetration for a change? At the very least go back to letting your stupid search engine do your talking for you, because the only thing worse than plagiarism is mushy, sentimental dribble.
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