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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Russia's Punishment For Their History Of Olympic Doping Is Essentially That They Now Have To Dress Stupid While They Compete

12/20/2017

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Picture

Proposed Olympic Athlete from Russia Team logo via IOC pic.twitter.com/sj6ClNxNif

— Nick Zaccardi (@nzaccardi) December 20, 2017

​TheComeback
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The Russian Olympic Assembly recently voted to participate in the 2018 Olympics under a neutral flag, which is allowed by the International Olympic Committee as long as those granted permission to compete agree to follow outlined rules...

IOC releases guidelines on uniforms for Russian athletes & officials at the Winter Olympics their team is supposed to be banned from. Reads like a parody. The essential remains unchanged: Letting teams & individuals wear "Olympic Athlete from Russia" defeats much of the point pic.twitter.com/fM1fQQ3DFN

— Christopher Clarey (@christophclarey) December 20, 2017

...that means there will be a Russian hockey team in the games. Earlier this week, a possible leaked image of the proposed jersey for the “Russian” team were unearthed to give a glimpse as to what the team could look like. It basically looks like the generic hockey team’s uniform you create in a video game’s custom-team mode...
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Герб РФ на новой форме сборной по хоккею заменен на силуэт игрока https://t.co/7z6gJII8Gc pic.twitter.com/ghXiEK2fuM

— Р-Спорт (@rsportru) December 17, 2017

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Ha! Take that Russia! That'll teach your most prominent athletes to stop compromising the integrity of international competition by transfusing their blood with that of the region's most fertile steed! This might seem like slap-on-the-wrist public shaming that would have a more dire effect on the reputation of a runway model. However, if overused sports' cliches have taught me anything it's that it's basically impossible for The Red Army to either feel good or play good when they look like they've been clothed by The Salvation Army. Bet they won't be able to fully appreciate the experience while having to glance down at their boring ass uniforms and accept that they are merely a resident of their country, as opposed to a representative for it. Suck on those semantics, you unsportsmanlike substance abusers. 

Honestly, I don't particular care that the Russian training regime is more dependent on needles than the art of acupuncture. They tend to be sub-par in the only sports that I care about, so maybe those growth hormones were necessary in making sure their athletic performance on a global stage wasn't embarrassingly pubescent. I suppose that remains to be seen as their upcoming inclusion is coming at the expense of both drugs and what little fashion sense they appeared to have.

That said, if you're the IOC maybe it's smart to set a precedent that creating a culture of unlawfully playing above the field for years on end isn't only punishable by the wearing of a jersey that might as well say "I did Russian steroids and all I got was this stupid t-shirt". Keeping in mind some of fads I have fallen victim to in the past, throwing on something that serves as a scarlet letter for a week or two seems like a pretty small price to pay to continue playing for a gold medal. Especially since surrounding a boring logo with generic font is generally the way in which locally-run youth leagues weed out the kids who don't have a true love for the game. 
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