Rutgers Basketball (Yes, Rutgers Has Basketball) Came In Hot With The Most Bizarre Brag Of All Time

Cha-Ching □□□

□⚔ #KnightAndDay pic.twitter.com/VniZuwZVk2

— Rutgers Basketball (@RutgersMBB) August 31, 2016

And here I was thinking that there is nothing more obnoxious than someone boasting about how much money they make. Boy, did my alma mater really make me look stupid for thinking that someone publicizing their own financial security on social media is the most surefire sign of insecurity. I mean, that doesn't even remotely compare to the complex inferiority that a State University has to have about it's basketball team to gloat about the cumulative money made by players that went to other universities and were at one time coached by people who were at one time employed by said university. I wouldn't blame you if you turned back now, because I almost got lost in the maze of that ridiculous pattern of thinking like 3 different times while I was typing that sentence. That not-so-humble brag nearly defied the concept of '6 degrees of separation', and - since I don't expect people to know too much about Rutgers basketball - it was the perfect representation of a program that has been an undeniable atrocity. 

I really need to have a talk with the intern that was asked to run these numbers. Surely there are more productive ways for him to earn credits than by trying to make Rutgers men's basketball look like it's worth more than the pot they piss in. I'm impressed that someone in the the athletic department had the creativity to think of a way to VERY loosely connect the Scarlet Knights hoops team with a 10 figure monetary value, but I am certainly not impressed by the man hours it UNDOUBTEDLY took to get there. Some poor bastard was probably sitting on Google for a motherfucking week looking at the resumes of every graduate assistant that spent more than 5 minutes employed by Rutgers. He could have written a fucking thesis on the destitute state of his school's basketball team in the time it took him to do the intricate research and math necessary to craft one tweet that was supposed to make them look prosperous but instead made them look laughable. Christ Almighty Rutgers, act like  conference play just started and DO LESS.

P.S. I almost want this to be intentional just to get a rise out of people, but we are talking about the same program that hired Eddie Jordan as an "alumni" and then found out he never actually graduated 5 minutes after he signed on the dotted line. I won't put any amount of stupidity past them.