Rutgers Got Destroyed By Michigan...BUT They Potentially Ruined Their Restaurant Scene In The Process
I knew it. I just knew it. If I looked long and hard enough there was a surely a positive to be found after watching my alma mater's football team get smacked around their own yard like their father didn't deem their lawn cutting sufficient. I thought that positive came when I heard that none of the committed recruits walked directly into Chris Ash's office, pulled down their pants, took a fat shit in a paper bag, and proceeded to light it on fire, but it looks like I couldn't have been more wrong!
Turns out the bright side to watching your team lose by ELEVEN touchdowns at home during primetime is that you might just make a high end steakhouse retract their promotional promise and potentially throw the culinary landscape of an entire city out of whack. Rutgers got flat out owned by Michigan, but by Thursday night they might be able to own the business space that the Ann Arbor Ruth's Chris currently occupies. Enjoy that final filet Wolverines fans, because it's about to be 'Outback' for the foreseeable future after Ruth's Chris spends the entirety of their rent money paying for celebratory steaks.
Out-gained 600-39? Gave up well over 400 rushing yards? Nine rushing touchdowns? Only managed to gain two first downs of their own on FIVE total passing yards? That outright athletic molestation is a small price to pay to make sure that the discount meat that they are getting as a prize is the last slab they have for a long, LONG time. A 78 point shoutout is certainly a number to be proud of, but they'll be wishing they started taking knees at 25-0 when Applebee's has another Ann Arbor location. In this case, revenge is a dish last served medium rare.