Honestly, who has got it better than Ryan Fitzpatrick? Never mind being subjected to a dumpster of a diet that comes part and parcel with having to sneak in ways to satiate yourself while raising an entire touchdown worth of children. The truth is, he might as well wake up and eat some cake regardless of whether or not the calendar says it's a date on which he once successfully reproduced. 36 years old. Starting NFL quarterback. Still living good off an Ivy League education in and on a field where it largely doesn't translate. No real expectations of which to speak. Can show up unkempt and overweight to his job as a pro athlete and have it be a laughing matter. His blessed life might as well be the product of blowing out all the right candles, so who is to say every day isn't his birthday? All his wishes have seemingly some true, like two dozen times over, so it would simply be ungrateful of him not to show his appreciation by bulking up on a bunch of batter and icing for another stress-free gig under center that probably best described as...well...cake.
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