Quick tip of the hat to whoever concocted this apology. I don't know who typed it out for him, but - considering it's written in legible, grammatically correct English - I do know who wasn't responsible for the terminology used. Now, whether I agree with the content of it is a different story, but I am glad that I didn't have to cringe through Ryan Lochte's attempts at spelling words over two syllables just to read his orchestrated, bullshit apology that only mildly takes responsibility for his endless stupidity. Correct me if I am wrong, but does the social norm of not pissing somewhere other than a toilet when a toilet is readily available not transcend language barriers? Does one drunkenly destroy property while stumbling around shady local businesses in foreign countries known for their violence at the crack of dawn NOT expecting a gun to be pointed at them? I know there's not many, but the people defending him like he was "robbed" need to think a little outside of their comfort zone (i.e. the United States). I already have my doubts whether or not this was truly "traumatic" based on the how he acted afterwards, but being a shitfaced idiot in notoriously unsafe territory is never going to get you sympathy. That's not to say I haven't been just as dumb under nearly as dangerous circumstances, but is it to say that whenever I was I woke up saying "damn, that was really fucking stupid of you". I know the person in question has the brain of Gronk if Gronk replaced his alcohol consumption with ecstasy consumption, but if I knew that at 20 then he certainly should at 32. These fucking morons are LUCKY that they pissed off security guards and not literally any other local or the probability that they would be penning him a eulogy instead of an apology would increase dramatically. Call me crazy, but a $400 payoff for your life when you willingly put it at risk is kind of a bargain.
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