Oh, irony. That sweet, sweet sugar on top of the refreshing treat that is watching irritable old men get drenched in barrels of sticky sports drinks and the ice that keeps them nice and cold. It's almost as it Randy Dreiling doesn't even realize that the dose of "tough love" (aka shit) that he undoubtedly dumped on his team over the course of a successful season - that he never even considered enjoying, mind you - made it all the more satisfying for them to return the favor with a dose of ass-clenching electrolytes. I don't know one high school football coach from the next, but I do know that one who responds to a championship-inspired celebratory soaking with an instinctual attempt at the assault of a minor probably had that impromptu bath coming and should probably be happy it was only filled with Gatorade. After all, the tradition of making coaches wet and wildly uncomfortable following their greatest successes isn't about honoring coaches as much as it is entertaining the players that had to put up with their shit in order to get where they wanted to go. I have it on the good authority of this particular coach's bitter beer face in response to the longstanding taste of a title that playing for the Saint Thomas Aquinas Saints wasn't always the most pleasant experience. Therefore, "rewarding" him with the Varsity Blues by jamming the stick back in his ass during the 5 second stretch of the season in which he actually relaxed his sphincter enough for it to release probably added just a touch to the thrill of victory for a bunch of verbally-abused teenagers.
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