Sammy Watkins Apologized For Calling Those Criticizing Him "Losers", But There Is No Chance He Wrote It Himself

I need everyone to do me a favor here. First, read this...

Now, read this...

Just want to Thank all my fans for their support please don't retract yesterday's statement. My frustration is wanting to help the team and win for the city of Buffalo and for my teammates. As a player we need critics and also fans that's apart of the game, majority of the negative comments were from other fans not the Bills fans. My comments were still inappropriate don't matter what fan or who others cheer for we all represent the NFL shield Therefore #letsgobuffalo

A photo posted by Sammy Watkins (@sammywatkins) on Oct 28, 2015 at 10:05am PDT

Any distinct differences that you notice? Sure, one is written in an aggressive tone and one is written in an apologetic tone, but I am talking about something even more obvious than that. Like, for instance, MOTHERFUCKING PUNCTUATION. Hey Sammy, next time you want to go on a rant about  your fans maybe slip in a fucking period or two? Could you just pretend to know what a comma is? Holy shit dude, I got a headache just trying to comprehend that paragraph long, run-on sentence fragment. The only reason I even realized it was a critique was because it included the word "losers". Otherwise it just looked like an arbitrary word jumble. Like you sat on the microphone button while you were on Instagram or something. Just a little pro-tip here Sammy. If people can't understand you they aren't going to take you seriously. I don't need an expertly written thesis, but would it kill you to let me know where one thought ends and the next one begins?

I don't have a problem with Sammy Watkins calling fans losers. If you are chastising a player for being injured then you are a fucking loser. However, if you are going to put that out on the internet at least stand by it, and if you're not going to stand by, then at least write your own apology. No one goes from unpunctuated gibberish to nearly complete sentences that feature real life pronouns and mostly properly capitalized letters. I don't care if you want to have your assistant, or your intern, handle your social media, but at least make sure it stays consistent. To be brutally honest, right now it just looks like one literate person covering up for an illiterate one.

In the interest of full disclosure, I wrote this blog out of anger because I felt robbed of the opportunity to buy some reading glasses, pop a couple of Advil-PM's, and try to decipher a genuine Sammy Watkins apology before dozing off. 

​Hey Sammy, identify the verb...