Beyonce's 'Let Me Upgrade Ya' Equipment Enhancement Of The Century:
Obviously all Devils fans - residing in Albany and New Jersey - are hoping for a speedy recovery for Scott Wedgewood after going down with a shoulder injury. The most important thing is definitely that he gets back on the ice healthy in a timely manner. That said, I'll be damned if his new mask doesn't have me questioning the sincerity of that previous statement. After all, a promising player sitting out meaningful games is unfortunate, but having a piece of equipment that fresh collecting dust on the shelf is a goddamn tragedy. Wedge Wall's new headwear is so amazing that it makes his previous helmet look like something that should only be worn within the privacy of his own home, and before 5 minutes ago I thought that helmet was one of the best in the game.
I mean, I didn't even realize that excellence could be enhanced this much. The infamous quote - that made one Jerry Seinfeld's jaw drop in horror - stamped down the side? The 'DEVILS' graffiti written in a handwriting that only a crazed, fictional fan on a sitcom could perfect? The attention to detail in the facial expression of a person that acts exactly how you would expect someone that paints their face during the playoffs to act? Scott Wedgwood and, more importantly, his artist just put every other professional and semi-professional goaltender on notice. Adapt or die baby. It's the 'Golden Era' of goalie masks, and this new addition to the 'David Puddy Collection' is the current leader in the collective locker room.