Shaq Has Absolutely No Idea Who Plays For The Sacramento Kings, Despite Being A Minority Owner Of The Team
“They’re close. They’re close. Great year last year. I still think they’re one or two pieces away. They lost an important piece, Otto Porter. He’s now playing for my team in Sacramento, but they’re close.”
Dammit, I really want to rip Shaquille O'Neal here. After all, he's paid handsomely to be a part of the preeminent NBA show on television without having a damn clue what's currently going on in the NBA. That show may temporarily be on hiatus and he may not have serve as anything more than it's resident idiot, but hopping on a popular podcast to talk about a lineup that only exists on someone's PlayStation4 is still pretty incompetent as far as professionalism goes. And as if that weren't negligent enough, he's apparently the minority of a professional basketball team whose roster he's as familiar with as the board full of NBA players that he just blindly winged a dart at on a public forum. All in all, it took an astounding about of obliviousness for Shaquille O'Neal to live in a world where Otto Porter Jr. is a Sacramento King. Unfortunately, I can't be too harsh, because the astounding lack of fucks he gives about the league he covers and the team he invested in is a testament to his success.
Seriously, Shaq is basically living the American dream. Ignoring damn near everything that has to do with his career the second his career grants him some down time. Checking up on the status of his business ventures as often as you or I check the spam folder of our e-mail account. Hell, I can't be the only jackass that had no idea that 'The Big Aristotle' had equity in the franchise whose glory years he turned into a living hell, and I'm pretty sure that speaks to how "highly" he values his ownership stake in a professional sports team. If his command of their offseason acquisitions is any indication, Shaq bought up a notable piece of the Sacramento Kings with the flippancy with which the average person scoops up a street side slice of pizza mid-bar crawl. Most of us could only be so lucky to have the job security to ignore our jobs for months at a time while still having the capital to buy expensive crap that we have a fleeting interest in.