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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

So Dez Bryant Actually Said Nothing About Unloading A Clip, But Josh Norman Is Still - Somehow - The Victim

11/29/2016

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Josh Norman talked to the media about the postgame scuffle with Dez Bryant □ (via @MasterTes) pic.twitter.com/3A44DT6pYR

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) November 25, 2016
LBS- After jawing at each other for 60 minutes during the Dallas Cowboys’ win over the Washington Redskins, Bryant and Norman had a confrontation following the game. Norman claimed the scuffle started over Bryant saying, “Where I’m from, we unload the clip,” which many assumed was a violent threat. But on Monday, Norman said Bryant did not actually use that phrase.

According to Master Tesfatsion of the Washington Post, Norman clarified that he was using the phrase himself to describe leaving it all out on the field. He added that he does not want to talk about the beef anymore.

“Can’t get into it man,” Norman said. “Can’t get into it. Everybody wanna go against me for some reason. I don’t know. At the end of the day, that was then. This is now. It is what it is.”

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Wait...this whole time everyone thought that Josh Norman was referring to Dez Bryant threatening him with a gun when he publicly put the use of a phrase that's used almost exclusively to describe the excessive use of a firearm in his mouth? HA! What could have possibly given them that idea?!? Come on guys, use some context clues. It's pretty damn obvious he was talking about himself feeling exasperated following a hard fought game against a divisional opponent in which he went head-to-head with a brash, talented wide receiver. Seriously, what's more relatable to the general public then referring to your proverbial "bag of tricks" as a deadly weapon? "Up your sleeve" is the most played idiom in the book, why not switch it up and go with something more along the lines of "packed in the chamber" instead? Of course Josh Norman wasn't talking about taking live bullets from one of the most volatile wideouts in league. It couldn't possibly be clearer that he was just talking about shooting his mouth off at said wideout from across the line of scrimmage. 

I can't believe old, out-of-touch white guys asking repetitive, rudimentary questions couldn't process his mumbled analogy during the four whole days he gave them to do so prior to clarifying what he actually meant! God, it's not his fault that a bunch of reporters - as well as the overwhelming majority of fans and analysts - couldn't piece together the meaning of an expression that is often applied in creatively conveying that someone did everything in their power to gain a competitive edge over their opposition while playing a sport. "Unload the clips" and "leave it all on the field". You guys don't see how those two common figure of speeches are basically interchangeable? You're just going to "go against" Josh Norman because you were too stupid to understand such a relatable comparison? Grow up. Washington doesn't need their money back. They just need to hire a full-time translator for all you simpletons that can't wrap your mind around an ammunition metaphor when it's used within the framework of sports. If everyone had a better grasp of the English language like Josh Norman (when he's not accidentally talking about fucking farm animals) then silly, little implications of potential homicide like this would no longer be a concern.
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