Some Woman Encoded Her Phone Number In A Math Problem And Posted It On A Telephone Pole To Try To Find A Date
I can't stress this enough, and trust me, I tried to yesterday. Posting things on billboards, or telephone poles, or trees is completely useless. No one, and I mean NO ONE, is paying attention to paper flyers taped up around town. That's why everyone that is looking for a lost pet goes the route of social media nowadays. People live in their phones, and even if they didn't, the last thing they are taking precious time out of their day to do is math. Especially math that can't easily be entered into the calculator on their smart phone.
This ain't 'Good Will Hunting' bitch. Matt Damon isn't about to slide into your text messages. That formula is more likely to touch a homeless man's asshole than it is to be solved. Get your algorithms out of my face. If you're so smart that you can't possibly be a with a man that can't do trigonometry in a timely fashion then how come you don't realize that public propaganda doesn't fucking work? The only people smart enough to complete that problem and calculate your phone number are people that are smart enough not to be finding blind dates on the bark of a maple tree. The dating game isn't even about who is smart and who isn't anymore. It's about who is lazy and who isn't. The effort that most people put in doesn't surpass repeatedly swiping right on their iPhone screen a bunch of times. You think that you, the nameless faceless wonder, are going to be the one that gets people to drop their technology and start doing calculus? Let me tell you something lady. If Jessica Alba offered me one night of no holds barred sex in exchange for passing an 8th grade math test I would text her a picture of middle finger and probably rub one out to one of her photoshopped nudes from Google image*. I'm not saying this girl isn't smart, even though I have my doubts. I am saying she has an inflated sense of self that is about to get popped when the only person that responds to her flyer is a clinically insane mathematician that just left his basement for the first time since the last Clinton administration.
*If it was Julia Louis-Dreyfus I would ace that shit.
Now cue the motherfuckin' music!