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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Somehow The Person With The Puck On His Stick Wasn't Solely Responsible For The Worst Breakaway Ever

12/15/2017

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Picture
Worst breakaway attempt ever - Iowa Wild player's controller turns off mid-breakaway from hockey

Shockingly, it's not for the player that turned a breakaway that spanned half the damn rink and a quarter of the period into an egregious display of prudence that almost assuredly left Iowa Wild fans in need of a cold shower, but I do have one question here.

That question is "where were you on that one, dipshit?", and it's directed at the trailer that did everything in his power to seem powerless in his outright attempt to leave his teammate looking stupid. Like, did 44's wheels get stuck in a mud puddle at his own blue line? Did he have something other than the sure goal he would have scored on his mind when he decided to make the announcer sound like a jackass for confidently declaring it a 2-on-0?

Sure, in retrospect, Luke Kunin (the Minnesota Wild's 2016 first round pick) should have been a little selfish and proved his worth to the NHL club by beating an AHL-caliber goalie instead of going with the untried and untrue technique of boring him out of position. However, if we are going to make a dead XBox controller comparison then it is much more fitting of the guy who coasted his way out of two step lead in the race to backdoor only to let the puck hit his lifeless stick and flub off into the corner when he got there five seconds too late. Other than the back checking defenseman, this video doesn't really make anyone look good, but it's the guy whose lack of urgency made it seem like he was camera shy that really enhanced the bad.

h/t Reddit
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