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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Spoiled Kids Are Getting Their Rich Parents In Trouble For Tax Evasion With Their Instagram Posts

4/6/2016

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Metro-  Investigators are spying on the pictures of boastful rich kids on Instagram to see if their parents are hiding costly assets such as planes or yachts in order to dodge tax or divorce payouts.

Security and consultancy firm K2 Intelligence told The Observer newspaper that social media was now its ‘first port of call’ in investigations.

The company recently secured success against a man who claimed to have no assets – only to be exposed when one of his children published a photo aboard his £17.5million yacht in the Bahamas.

Andrew Beckett of security firm Kroll said it used similar techniques in a divorce case where a man had to pay his wife £21million – after claiming he didn’t have anything.

Mr Beckett added: ‘We monitored social media, particularly for his children, who were in their 20s, and found a lot of posts from the same sites.


‘Cross-referencing that with land registry, we found half a dozen properties in his name. We were able to go to the court with a list of assets that we conservatively estimated at £42million, which the court then seized until he settled the amount that had been ordered.’



​There you have it folks, the main reason why rich people should never reproduce. Having children is the quickest way to go from rich to not-so-rich, that's just a fact. A fact that is becoming more and more emphasized with what I like to call 'technological inflation'. Everything else is more expensive in 2016, why wouldn't child rearing be too? You thought that private school was setting you back? HA! Just wait until the IRS gets wind of little Brittany's Instagram post of all her mother's jewelry that she is claiming is hers and was paid for with dirty money. Talk about blood diamonds! Fuck a 1,000 words, that's a picture that's worth at least a couple thousand dollars. Fuck 1,000 paper cuts, there ain't nothing as ironic as watching your wealth die at the hands of 1,000 likes. 

The thing about being a rich kid in his day and age is that you aren't really a rich kid unless you constantly show everyone how rich you are, and the thing about being a rich parent in this day and age is that you aren't really a rich parent unless you are constantly committing tax fraud. It's quite the Catch 22. The punishment incurred for white collar crime is just a cost that needs to be accounted for when the 1% decides to crap another pretentious douchebag out into this world. Don't want to be given a financial slap on the wrist while paying your way out of a prison sentence? Just continue sailing to the South of France on your illegally licensed yacht to help you forget about how much you want to breed, because a vasectomy is much cheaper than hush money.
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