I knew we were missing an important aspect of this Harambe story. We've spent all week worrying about whether we did right by a gorilla and trying to perform an online execution of a couple of parents who - god forbid - lost site of their obnoxiously curious 4 year old. In the meantime we completely forgot where it all took place. Want Vince Williams and I to care about a deceased primate those life was comprised by the negligence of a zoo and it's customers? Make sure it doesn't live in Cincinnati. As far as we are concerned everyone in the zoo that day should have jumped in the gorilla pit and fought each other to the death just to improve their living conditions.
People keep saying that the modern state of sports has killed the concept of the rivalry, but it's tweets like this that really give me hope for an equally contentious tomorrow. If Vontaze Burfict's attempted decapitation of Antonio Brown didn't prove to you that hatred still very much exists between division rivals than Vince Williams lack of compassion for an innocent animal that just happened to be shipped to an enclosure that's geographically adjacent to the stadium of his most despised adversaries certainly should. I can just imagine his reaction watching this 'Breaking News' scroll across his television screen. "Oh man, they had to kill that poor guy...wait...did they say CINCINNATI zoo? Man, fuck this story and everyone in it. That gorilla was probably dirty choke artist anyway". That's the type of irrational, unbridled malice that I need to see between franchises because nothing gets the juices going quite like watching two football teams come at each other's throats during the season and wishing each other's cities death, destruction, and tragedy in the offseason.
Oh, and in case you thought this tweet was in jest, Vince Williams doesn't seem like the type to mince words when he's talking about the Bengals...