Ted Cruz Tried To Channel 'Hoosiers' While Campaigning In Indiana, And I Bet You Can Guess The Result
People are going to give Ted Cruz a lot of flack for accidentally referring to a basketball rim as a "basketball ring" and he deserves every ounce of that criticism. The bigger problem I see with this, however, is that fucking politicians have lost the ability to pander. Forget that their views are misguided and that every potential Presidential candidate is as unlikeable as ever. The fact that they can't even schmooze a crowd for 30 seconds without making complete asses of themselves is the true indictment of the current state of politics. We always knew they were slimy, corrupt douchebags, but at least they were smily, corrupt douchebags that could talk us in circles. Now they can't even verbally cradle our balls without slipping an accidental finger in our ass.
You have Trump thinking that Tom Brady is a beloved figure in Maryland. Campaigning in the same city in which a tragic terrorist attack took place and mixing up the date with the name of a store that sells bacon cheeseburgers in the shape of hot dogs. Now we got Ted Cruz failing to be able to memorize a few lines from the most famous film Indiana has to offer?
How late do you think he was up replaying this YouTube clip on loop before he felt comfortable enough to go out there and use it on a bunch of people that fall asleep to that very same movie every night? Probably stood in the mirror reciting it for a good 45 minutes that morning and he still fucked up the most basic part of it. Yeah, it was just one slip of the tongue. He did say "rim" literally seconds before that, but that's not even the point. I don't care if Ted Cruz doesn't know the most basic of sports terminologies. Not every politician can be a relatable human being like Obama. That said, it's not supposed to be THIS hard to say what people want to hear. After all, 6th graders running for Class President of their shitty middle school do it all the time. Actual stances on certain societal issues are one thing, but these fucking idiots can't even brown their nose before they are losing the room. I'm legitimately starting to think that the best way to win the Presidency is to go radio silent and just let everyone talk their way into submission. Let 2016 go down as the year in which a mute would have had a real life opportunity to become the leader of the free world.
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