We all have to learn somehow. For most of us it happens when the Cleveland Browns kick a last second field goal and miraculously....cover a spread that hadn't seemed nearly as big as it was four hours prior, but we all get introduced to the perils of gambling at one point or another. Unfortunately for Genie Bouchard, her run-in with the seemingly malicious football gods ended up getting her a date with the type of person sitting on Twitter throwing up halftime hail mary's to second tier women's tennis stars during the Super Bowl.
Hey, the good news is that she wasn't lulled into a false sense of security by winning a couple of last second wagers! Tough to plummet down the degenerate rabbit hole when you trip and fall face first right out of the gate. Nothing will remind you that sports are aggressively unpredictable like having to follow through on what seemed like one of the safest bets ever by flying a random dude across the country to go to - of all things - a goddamn Brooklyn Nets game. By all accounts, she hasn't been turned into a lampshade so everything appears to have gone smoothly, but I'll be damned if the disturbing thoughts that were going through her head prior to the date don't have a lasting effect on how quick she is to pull the trigger in the future.
I don't know how good the 44th best female tennis player in the world is, but - after the anxiety she felt prior to meeting the stranger who had Tiger Woods as his avatar - I think even she would agree she's too damn good to be paying off cross country, spur-of-the-moment bets that were all risk and zero reward. Especially - ESPECIALLY - when they require her to make small talk over the backdrop of a home game for a team that has 9 wins.