Jacksonville- Jacksonville’s minor league baseball team is having its usual Thirsty Thursday promotion this week with discounted beer — 12 ounces for $1, 24 ounces for $2. But this Thursday there’s a second promotion: You Might Be the Father’s Day.
That’s right. In honor of Sunday being Father’s Day, the Jumbo Shrimp will distribute free pregnancy tests at Thursday’s game. “So you’ll know if you need to return for Sunday’s Father’s Day game,” the team’s website explains. “It will be an evening filled with suspense, intrigue and manila envelopes.” Craw said Monday the pregnancy test came up just like all the other ideas do. “We were just sitting around at the promotion meeting, looking at our calendar,” he said. “That’s something that plays to our Thirsty Thursday crowd, which tends to be young professionals and college students. They like to laugh and have a good time and would appreciate it being tongue-in-cheek.” ------- There's a lot of things you can say about the 'Jumbo Shrimp', but don't you dare say they don't understand their clientele. In fact, not only do they have a firm grasp of the the type of people that are drawn to the stadium by $2 tall boys, but they appreciate them so much that they threw themselves at the mercy of PC culture to provide them with something that they will undoubtedly need in the (likely near) future. Binge drinking and baby making might not be the most socially acceptable of correlations, but don't tell me it's one that's not regionally relevant in Jacksonville. "Tongue-in-cheek" my ass. When you live in Florida and a night out consists of getting loaded off insanely cheap booze at minor league baseball games it's only a matter of time before you're sweating out belated menstruation. As far as I am concerned, we should be applauding those that consider a pregnancy test a reason to get out to the ball park. At least they are taking responsibility for their actions instead of disputing the soon-to-be living and breathing ramifications of them on 'Maury'. I suppose the 'Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp' could have drummed up a promotion that was a little more enticing to the actual fathers out there, but you'd have to be a dead beat to be taking full advantage of cheap domestics on a Thursday night. Plus, grooming prospects is what Minor League Baseball is all about so to the prospective dads go the peeing sticks!
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