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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

The Kings And Canucks Played In Shanghai, And Had Their Mascots Explain Penalties To Chinese Fans

9/22/2017

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​After watching this about three times trying to decide whether this mascot-run penalty tutorial was an example of the type of innocent, but egregious condescension that Americans have made their calling card...orrrr the perfect way to grab the eye of the casual Chinese fan, I have come to a conclusion...

It's actually both.

I was cringing pretty hard during the intermission entertainment that treated those in attendance like a bunch of foreign idiots that had no idea what they were watching by trying to teach them the game through a performance that appeared to be the lovechild of 'Disney On Ice' and 'The Three Stooges'. That said, I'd be willing to bet that all six people - in a city that's populated by 24 million - that decided to show up for the NHL's laughable attempt at growing their game overseas found themselves most intrigued by watching people dressed as animals trying their oversized paws at vaudeville. I'm not sure this kind of blatant patronizing would fly in other hockey-less areas of the world, but credit to NHL for doing this song-and-dance for a handful of people from the one culture that's just eccentric enough to appreciate it. 

I guess my only complaint with that game of instructional charades was that it wasn't thorough enough. I suppose it would have run a little long if 'Bailey' the lion and 'Fin' the whale were tasked with providing all the examples of what a goddamn slash is. That would probably require an hour long variety show in and of itself since the integrity of the spectacle would be compromised by them yanking off their heads off and trying to translate to the audience that the NHL is still working on defining that one.

I don't know, maybe it's just me but penalties are the one aspect of the game that I wouldn't currently be trying to explain to the untrained eye without spoken word since even the most diehard of fans and veteran of players are having trouble wrapping their minds around the nauseating concept of a face-off violation. Luckily, I hardly think the target audience was paying as much attention to the lesson as they were to comical way it was being taught, but if they did truly want to learn then that class would have required extensive, postgame office hours.
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