The NFL Needs To Handle DeflateGate II The Same Way They've Handled Everything Else That Makes Them Look Bad
Don't do it. Don't you dare do it, NFL. I know going through another 18 months of back and forth bickering and subsequent litigation just to soil the reputation of a proud franchise over a couple of pumps of air in a football that was used in a ridiculously lopsided game is tempting, but Roger Goodell and the boys need to just take the L on this one. They need to embrace the same type of hypocrisy that had them kissing the proverbial feet of a breakout star that had previously used them to kick his pregnant girlfriend's ass in college. They need to channel the ass-backwards thinking required to fine players for wearing colorful cleats the 16 (out of 17) weeks they don't shamelessly use those same charitable fashion statements to garner good publicity. They need to summon the selective hearing that had them tuning out the dozens of former players that said bounties were a mainstay in every NFL locker room as they stopped at nothing to make an example out of Sean Payton and the New Orleans Saints. They need to continue to talk out of both sides of their mouth, because the alternative would turn me off of professional football more than any shitshow of a Thursday night matchup between bottom feeders ever could.
I simply can't do DeflateGate talk anymore. Even writing about the PSI of fucking footballs feels like a bad dream. I wouldn't be at all surprised if I came to in a pool of my own sweat and this "news leak" was just a nightmare of epic proportions. That would actually be preferable to learning that a sequel more unwanted than 'Speed 2' was in the works. Roger Goodell has shown in the past that his idea of saving face is just holding up the "shield" and hoping it can withstand the impact of a neverending stream of completely necessary backlash, and the last thing anyone wants is for him to change that asinine PR strategy now. Of course that would mean conceding to Tom Brady and the New England Patriots (as well as elementary science), but if there's a brand that can survive the salmonella as unlimited egg pours down their face then it's the NFL. Somehow throwing in the white flag and essentially admitting they are full of shit seems like a more bearable reaction from a multi-billion dollar industry than undergoing a nauseatingly long witchhunt in an attempt to legitimize their original nauseatingly long witchhunt.