The Padres Fan That Spilled His Beer After Taking A Foul Ball To The Gut Needs To Learn About Priorities
I can't - no - I won't criticize this kid for failing to cradle a baseball with one hand while also trying to protect his beer. Poor guy got put in an impossible spot, and he did - what he thought - was the best he could to return home for some drunk sex with a souvenir in his girlfriend's purse. Considering what he was trying to do, it was an honorable effort.
Unfortunately, he didn't realize that honorable effort would be for naught without one specific goal in mind. It's like they say...you can't have your beer and drink it too, or something like that. Either take the hit like a champ and save every overvalued ounce of beer, or consider it a sunk cost while catching a free baseball. I appreciate what he was trying to do, but everyone knows that tenderly holding your drink up in the air like you're about to command the room for a 'cheers' while trying to finesse a solidly hit baseball like you're in an egg tossing competition is ALWAYS going to end in (relative) disaster. Priorities man, priorities. Satisfy your hollow leg or satisfy your undying need to convince yourself that every bit of athletic ability didn't leave your body after 6th grade soccer. Get drunk or get your 15 seconds of fame, because one thing you definitely don't want to be is sober throughout your 15 seconds of shame.
"It's okay hunny, I totally don't subconsciously think less of you as a man..."