Objectively speaking, yikes. Much like a death by 1,000 cuts, the Carolina Panthers' playoff hopes are basically drowning by 1,000 drips, and here they are chronicling it in a form and fashion that makes them look about as professional as, well, their own quarterback's idiotic Instagram captions...
I'm not even trying to be a curmudgeon, because part of me appreciates the fact that the organization has fully embraced Cam Newton's flashy fashion sense and eccentric personality. Unfortunately, that other part of me realizes that typing how mumble rappers talk is an extremely stupid thing to do on an official press release when you're riding a 5-game losing streak that sent your once promising season to the brink of a cliff that the back-to-back division champs could very easily send you careening off of come Monday. I'm no longer in middle school so fancy, nonsensical fonts don't exactly do it for me regardless, but if I had to read this dumb shit as someone who was invested in the Panthers' success during a month in which they've had absolutely none I would lose my ever-loving mind. Being the "cool" organization that doesn't give a fuck and does things a bit differently only works when you're actually, ya know, good. Therefore, the only way the timing of this makes sense is if the Panthers are voluntarily embarrassing themselves in an effort to get the Saints to take them less seriously as a franchise so that they take for granted a game that could drip, drip, drop a division rival they've dominated of late from the playoff race. If so then the mission is probably half accomplished, but the only thing that Carolina stands a lesser chance of doing than beating New Orleans out of having home-field advantage is having more swag than them in the process. Especially if their best attempt at being "hip hop" is stealing special effects from the school newspapers of 6th graders while pandering to an underperforming quarterback who appears to get dressed on the set of Alice In Wonderland every week.
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