Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. The only way this story of baby-making could be anymore "Philly" is if Rocky Balboa got Bobby Clarke loaded off Yuengling's and the ensuing sodomy produced the immaculate excrement that is Chase Utley. Historically speaking, the backup goaltender and the useless goon are the thee most beloved players on the Flyers' roster, and they are about to become pseudo-family after one just extramaritally impregnated the other's little sister. It's like straight out of a low budget rom-com......assuming that low budget rom-com was shot in an alley off Broad Street, can most easily be streamed from the bowels of PornHub, and has only been seen by about 400 people who swear that Scott Stevens is a dirty player because he knocked their best chance for a championship into the subconscious state they call home. Radko has been throwing dirty, illegal hits for years, and somehow it's the guy that's been forced to cover for all of his endless myriad of mistakes who delivered the sticking from behind that will inevitably have the most long term of consequences for the Gudas' family. Who woulda thunk it?!
What's that you say? Michal Neuvirth is separated and has been openly seeing Radko Gudas' sibling? Donnnn't carrrrrrre. Somehow the facts of this story are even more hilarious than the intricate details, and I won't let the miracle that is impending childbirth ruin it for me. By definition, the Flyers are now inbreeding and somehow that seems like an "ADRIAAAAAN!"-esque love story compared to Jeff Carter punching his ticket out of town after slipping some rubber through the 5-hole of Scotty Hartnell's wife. The inner workings of Philly's locker room are now responsible for a baby bump, and it's not the kind that Mike Richards was shoving up his nose to prep for playoff games. I guess it really is all in the family, and somehow that family seems more dysfunctional than the asshole Eagles fans in 'Silver Linings Playbook'.