Take a long look at each one of those students of "higher learning". Do your damnedest to commit their faces to memory. For as dangerous as sexual predators are, young adults that are unable to differentiate criminally creepy old men from a pro hockey team named after carnivorous jungle cats that preceded their deranged existence on this planet by hundreds of years are almost as much of a threat to society's youth. Now, I'm not saying that any of those presenters that are in desperate need of a core class in common sense have an unexpected date with Chris Hansen in their future. I am, however, saying that I'd like them to be tracked as threats to the intelligence of their communities by red dots on a website so that I don't unknowingly raise a family within a hundred mile radius of such alarming levels of idiocy. The last thing any neighbor needs is to worry about living within the proximity of a sick freak that is insatiably attracted to children. However, the second to last thing a neighbor needs is to have their downtime spent watching a hockey game interrupted by their kid asking a never-ending series of questions about molestation after being scared shitless by the spawn of stupid equating a P.K. Subban shirtsey to a promotion for pedophilia and a logo of a fanged feline compared to a scarlet letter of sexual assault. So, as far as I'm concerned, these connotation rent-a-cops need to be slapped with ankle monitors as clear and present dangers to a society that doesn't need anyone actively attempting to make this fucked up thing we call life any weirder than it already is. After all, the people who can't watch a Filip Forsberg highlight without their minds instinctually wandering to the whereabouts of the Jerry Sandusky's of the world should be more worried about their train of thought flying off the fucking rails than trying to find irrelevant ways to make kiddie touching a topic of conversation. Either that, or they should be made as extinct as Sabercats. Sidenote: Not a doubt in my mind this idea was the brainchild of the kid in the Red Wings' jersey who is both a Predators' hater and the complete slacker of the group.
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