I'm not trying to turn my nose up at the use of a penis as a punchline. In fact, considering my first thought when I saw this was "he's got a dick on his head, but don't call him a dickhead", I am liable to claim that a well-timed dick joke will never not be funny. So, phallically speaking, I should appreciate that the members of the Golden Knights managed to get one of their teammates to slap a cock-laden piece of protective equipment atop his head before going out to practice for the professional hockey team that employs him.
Unfortunately, I can't help but feel like Nate Schmidt's general obliviousness as a person was taken advantage of here. Half the fun in pulling off a prank is the pay-off of executing it without detection, and that bastard wouldn't have been anywhere as veiny or triumphant if his teammates thought there were even the slightest chance that he would catch the "subtlety" of the fattest of 'D' before rocking it onto the rink. This feels like a weird thing to say about paper mache testicles that could be seen from space, but Nate Schmidt mushroom stamping himself was a conclusion as foregone as Gronk being goated into a '69' reference or Josh Gordon being tricked into snorting random lines of baking soda. Still funny, but just not as satisfying as it would have been if pulled off against someone that is apparently naive enough to get dressed with his eyes closed.
P.S. But...but...but....WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN!?!?!?